Over the past week and a half I feel like I have been going a million miles an hour — cutting paper, printing paper, hanging paper on walls (so much paper!), organizing, discussing, meeting, planning, gathering and gearing up for the coming school year. You may have guessed by now: I work in a school, a preschool to be exact. This year I have been offered the great opportunity of bringing the practice of yoga, the arts and the magical world of gardening to the classroom.
It has been three years since I have led my own classroom. Perhaps needless-to -say: I have spent the majority of this past week or so stressed out to the max over whether or not I made the right decision in taking this position. Lead enrichment teacher. Can I do it? What if I do it wrong? What if the kids are bored, parents dissatisfied? The worries and insecurities had been clouding my ability to sit down and focus, really. They’d been getting in my way.
So I spent a little time to my self. Did my daily practice. Visited a new yoga studio. Cleaned my house, read, played with the cats, worked on my quilt, called my mom, drank some coffee, took the pup on a walk. I cleared my head. Yesterday I went down to Tacoma to swing by my favorite studio Samdhana Karana and pick up some children’s yoga materials that they so sweetly donated to me. Walking into that studio always opens up something in me. Afterwards I visited my sister and niece at her and her partner’s new house. They gave me a tour, we chatted and ate grapes. Felt like home.
When I got home my body was settled, my mind focused and relaxed. Finally. I opened the bags with the donated materials and found, to my delight, all of the lesson planning books I have been meaning to get for the school year along with some other fun kids’ yoga stuff. I began to plan and write about how I’d like the classroom environment to be. As the ideas poured out onto the page, I began to envision just how fun this school year might be and the worries and insecurities completely melted away. I suddenly noticed that I was grinning. I began to get butterflies. This, I realized, this is what. I. do. This is my passion in action. This is my self unfolding into the daily.
I have worked hard to get to this place and yet I find my arrival to be astonishing. I get to guide the children I work with in the practice of yoga…daily. I now am paid to teach art and dig in dirt and teach little ones how plants grow! How completely unbelievable. How incredibly lucky.